Anxiety about mixing different friend groups
Bouncing between friend groups that do not mesh creates intense anxiety that guests will not get along and no one will have fun. The constant stress of trying to prevent people from feeling left out is so overwhelming that some people completely give up and refuse to invite anyone to their events.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Think of 2-3 super fun and positive things about each person to include when introducing people to give them an easy place to start conversations.
- 2Inviting no one at all to avoid the stress of deciding
- 3Using parents as a strict excuse to forcefully limit the guest list
- 4Splitting the gathering into staggered times so the groups do not overlap
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I feel like this is something even adults have a tricky time with so I’m unsure the best way to support my 12 year old kid here.”source ↗
“He said afterward he really struggled with bouncing between the different friend groups and they didn’t necessarily all mesh together.”source ↗
“He is absolutely against inviting EVERYONE because he says that’s too stressful and he didn’t enjoy that dynamic at his birthday party.”source ↗
“So now he’s decided he does not want to invite anyone to the Halloween party at all and will invite no one and for him that solves the problem.”source ↗
“I just don’t know if him sort of giving up on it is something I should support?”source ↗
“But I get it, I always get super stressed about making people feel left out”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 3Why am I terrified no one will show up to my wedding?
- 8What to do when a wedding guest's plus-one behaves offensively
- 10Bridesmaids ignoring texts and not getting their dresses
- 4How to schedule wedding dances without boring the guests
- 3How to stop someone from inviting themselves to your wedding
- 5Do I have to give a plus-one to a guest with a toxic partner?