What is a reasonable bedtime for a 14 year old?
Early bedtimes like 9 PM are usually too restrictive for teenagers who need evening hours for sports, dinner, and homework. However, allowing them to stay up late to game and avoid feeling left out leaves them unmonitored, risking exposure to explicit content and long-term negative impacts.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
What is a reasonable bedtime for a 14 year old?
- 1Setting up router-level network filters and device parental controls to block explicit content instead of using sleep as a supervision tactic.Did this help you?
- 2Confiscating electronics and shutting off internet access at a designated hour, but allowing the teen to stay awake in their room.Did this help you?
- 3Establishing a 'screens off' time rather than a strict 'lights out' time.Did this help you?
- 4Being flexible and extending curfew or bedtime hours specifically on Fridays and weekends to allow for social gaming.Did this help you?
- 5Allowing late nights only on weekends or non-school nightsDid this help you?
- 6Letting them stay up so they experience the natural consequences of exhaustion the next dayDid this help you?
- 7Refusing to allow screens or TVs in bedroomsDid this help you?
- 8Making exceptions only if all chores, homework, and responsibilities are fully completedDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“9 is too early for a 14 year old. My kids at that age were still working on homework because by the time they get home from a sports practice or game and eat dinner and shower it’s late.”source ↗
“My son has recently been asking me to play his video games at night, should I let him? He tells me that all his friends are and that he is missing out and always asks at night to play his Playstation”source ↗
“IMO a 9pm bedtime for a 14 year old is unreasonable. Our 8 year old goes to bed at 9:30 and our 13 year old at 10:30 during the week.”source ↗
“are you saying he has a bedtime on the weekend? that’s way too early. my older kids do not have a bedtime.”source ↗
“As a former gamer-kid who played until 2AM regular - both with and against my parents wishes at times - I cannot stress to you enough how much this'll fuck your boy up for years.”source ↗
“We've had a few boys grow through this house. All were gamers. I didn't have 100% say in the first few, and them being online very late negatively impacted them.”source ↗
“He keeps asking me to stay up until ten because he doesn't want to feel left out with his friends (apparently they all go to bed at eleven. While I can understand with that, the issue is that three months ago, I caught him watching explicit content on his laptop. We discussed hormones and how it is normal, but I'm still quite uncertain of whether I should let him stay up so late without my supervision.”source ↗