How to stop co-sleeping when your partner disagrees
One partner's sleep is severely disrupted while the other remains unconcerned about the child coming into bed, making it difficult to change the routine. This disagreement stalls any attempts to stop the habit, leaving the exhausted partner with no unified approach to reclaim their bed.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Walking the child back to their own room every timeDid this help you?
- 2Leaving the main bed to sleep in the child's bed or a separate spare bedDid this help you?
- 3Offering designated nights where co-sleeping is allowed as a treatDid this help you?
- 4Using rewards or prizes to incentivize the child to stay in their own bedDid this help you?
- 5allowing lap sitting only if the child is comfortable and wants toDid this help you?
- 6supervising closely and intervening immediately if anything feels wrongDid this help you?
- 7banning lap sitting entirely based on personal comfort or past upbringingDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“My wife doesn't mind him coming in, but I simply can't sleep properly with three of us in the bed. I usually end up leaving and going into his small bed instead. I honestly haven't slept properly in my own bed for over a year and it's now affecting my sleep, concentration and work.”source ↗
“I've tried to be assertive about needing to change the situation, but it's difficult when my wife doesn't really see it as a problem because it doesn't affect her sleep in the same way.”source ↗
“My husband seems to disagree and that our child should be able to sit on his family's lap. I get his point regarding safe individuals but honestly I just do not feel comfortable?”source ↗
“Outright banning sitting on friend/families laps seems excessive, but if thats what makes you comfortable then do it.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 19Why is my toddler staying up until midnight refusing to sleep?
- 6Partner won't agree on giving our child independence
- 8At what age should siblings share a bedroom?
- 5When is it actually okay to move a baby to their own room?
- 3How to handle family schedules when siblings refuse to attend practices
- 10How to get a toddler to sleep alone without hours of bedtime battles