Is it selfish to vacation without my toddler?
The overwhelming guilt of leaving a young child makes parents fear their baby will feel abandoned or that they are terrible mothers. This intense anxiety prevents many from traveling without their kids for more than a few days, while causing those who do take longer trips to break down in tears while away.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
Is it selfish to vacation without my toddler?
- 1Shortening the trip duration to a few days or a long weekendDid this help you?
- 2Traveling closer to home or taking the primary caregiver/grandparent along on the tripDid this help you?
- 3Relying on daily video calls and FaceTime to stay connectedDid this help you?
- 4doing practice overnight stays with grandparents before the tripDid this help you?
- 5bringing the baby along despite logistical challenges or unideal environmentsDid this help you?
- 6forfeiting the trip entirely to stay home with the infantDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“Now the vacation is coming up and I can’t help but feel super guilty for taking this trip.”source ↗
“I’m sitting here googling if my baby will think I’m abandoning him. Is it the wrong decision to go on this trip? Are we being selfish for wanting to go?”source ↗
“My son was great, me on the other hand.. I drowned in tears on day three 😂”source ↗
“Longest trip I did away from my kids was when my oldest was 3 and youngest was 1. It was only for 3 days but for me I’d never go longer than that.”source ↗
“I absolutely wouldn't have vacationed without my kids at that age. I was way way too anxious being away like that.”source ↗
“Some of these comments have me feeling like the worst mom ever for even considering going”source ↗
“I’m planning a 15-day trip to Thailand with my husband and some friends, and I’m feeling really anxious and guilty about leaving my 18-month-old son for that long.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 3How can I take a long break to travel without losing my job?
- 7Is it okay to pull a child out of school for a long vacation?
- 4How to survive weekends with young kids
- 52Why is traveling with a baby and toddler so miserable?
- 36How to handle a young puppy alone during sudden schedule changes
- 6Is a week-long trip to Asia worth the jet lag?