How to ask for money instead of gifts without looking rude
Asking for financial contributions instead of physical items clashes with traditional gift-giving expectations, making the request feel taboo or awkward. This social pressure leaves people stuck accepting unwanted clutter or struggling to communicate their preference for savings and funds without causing offense.
What the numbers show
Counted from the threads quoted below. How we count
- The most recent one is from October 2026.
- This comes up 27.6× more often in r/weddingplanning than across the site as a whole.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Telling people 'no gifts, thank you!' and suggesting cash only if they persistDid this help you?
- 2Setting up an adventure fund and framing the request around experiencesDid this help you?
- 3Looking up wording for a 'fiver party'Did this help you?
- 4Accepting the physical items and donating themDid this help you?
- 5Asking only close family members like grandparents, aunts, and uncles to contribute to a savings accountDid this help you?
- 6Calling the cash fund a more general 'Newlywed Fund'Did this help you?
- 7Framing it as a house improvement or fixing up fundDid this help you?
- 8Sending the digital payment handle as requestedDid this help you?
- 9Ignoring the request to avoid feeling awkwardDid this help you?
- 10Skipping the registry entirely and relying on word-of-mouth.Did this help you?
- 11Setting up an online cash fund or honeyfund.Did this help you?
- 12Providing a secure, locked card box at the reception for envelopes.Did this help you?
- 13Including a Venmo account or similar payment link on the wedding website.Did this help you?
- 14Skipping the bridal shower, which is heavily associated with physical gifts.Did this help you?
- 15Placing a message on the event website explaining that the guests' presence is the only gift required.Did this help you?
- 16Setting up optional cash funds for experiences so guests who insist on giving have an alternative.Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“We genuinely don't need gifts, we just want to celebrate with our people. Can I just say that on the invites? Any suggestions for wording?”source ↗
“Didn’t have a chance to get cash. Send me your Zelle and I’ll gladly give you cash.”source ↗
“We’re a little taken back because this card was for 3 people in her immediate family…. And she has my phone number. What the heck 😂 what would you guys do???”source ↗
“We just didn’t put up a registry and only 2 people have even said anything though a lot of our guests are from cultures where giving money is the expectation.”source ↗
“Even though we had a registry with items on it, we had people who bought something totally random.”source ↗
“Is it considered rude if, instead of a honeymoon fund, we do a first home fund?”source ↗
“We are already planning a low-budget honeymoon and would much rather the funds go towards our first home.”source ↗
“We've lived together in a rental house for years, so we have no need for gifts.”source ↗
“Basically how can I not have a registry and just ask for money without coming across badly?”source ↗
“The only things that we would really actually want are over $500 really detailed statues of comic books and stuff we like. I feel like that's too much to ask for a small wedding that we could save up for ourselves.”source ↗
“We really don’t want to be cluttered with more toys that we will end up either returning or not having the option to return and have to donate.”source ↗
“I know it’s normal to expect cash for things like weddings, bridal showers, etc. but it feels still taboo for a first birthday.”source ↗
“a lot of people still think “baby! Toys!” But the ask itself feels weird to me.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 4Do I have to give a wedding gift if they didn't give us one?
- 2What to write in a wedding thank you card for money
- 3How to handle inappropriate donation requests from individuals
- 3How to ask parents for money when they already support me
- 2Is it okay to ask wedding guests to pay for their lodging?
- 5What to do with unwanted wedding gifts when you have no receipt