Why does my child get angry when I praise them?
Praise can feel overwhelming and embarrassing for children, turning them into the unwanted center of attention. This discomfort can cause kids to react with anger, withdrawal, or frustration when parents offer verbal encouragement or narrate their good behavior.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Simplifying praise into a short statement like 'Great job sharing!'Did this help you?
- 2Narrating less and letting the child feel less observedDid this help you?
- 3Playing it cool with a casual 'that was nice' or saying nothing at allDid this help you?
- 4Addressing the child or asking about the activity more nonchalantly after it is finishedDid this help you?
- 5Asking questions about how they feel they did instead of directly telling them how they didDid this help you?
- 6Keeping praise extremely brief or internal, or being sneaky with praise so it doesn't sound directDid this help you?
- 7Observing vocally without judging (e.g., describing what they are doing instead of praising it)Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“If we praise our 3yo verbally for literally anything, she’ll either stop doing the thing, get upset and pout, or start doing the opposite of whatever she’s doing.”source ↗
“He also hated verbal/physical comfort when he’d get hurt or upset as a toddler.”source ↗
“Well, he got pissed, flipped me the bird, and when I asked why he said "You laughed at me" which definitely didnt happen.”source ↗
“i remember being around that age (and up to about 13) and i just wanted to be left alone, the praise can feel overwhelming to react to, almost embarrassing being the point of attention.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 18Why does my child say they hate everything they love?
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- 2How to handle a child who has to win every game
- 11How to motivate a child who doesn't care about punishments
- 11How to handle a child hanging out with bad influence friends
- 17What to do when your 7-year-old defies teachers and disrupts class