How to handle a child hanging out with bad influence friends
Children get exposed to negative peer behavior from friends, leaving parents worried about the bad environment and wondering if they should step in to choose their child's friends. This creates a difficult dilemma over whether to intervene directly or allow social choices, leaving parents unsure how to protect their child's good behavior without causing alienation.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Banning the child from hanging out with certain people
- 2Steering children toward alternative activities, hobbies, and sports teams to provide options
- 3Restricting who is allowed to come over to the home
- 4Enrolling children in constructive, healthy environments like performing arts programs or outdoor sports
- 5Checking directly with teachers to confirm their own child's behavior
- 6hosting playdates exclusively in public spaces like parks where parents can supervise
- 7limiting interactions to school hours only
- 8hosting children at home while declining invitations to visit the other family's house
- 9inviting children only to birthday parties instead of individual playdates
- 10Cutting off contact with the family
- 11Returning items demanded back
- 12Involving the school counselor
- 13Considering switching classes or schools
- 14Asking the child how they feel after playing with certain friends to gauge their feelings
- 15Stepping in directly to address the other child's behavior
- 16Reminding the child to pay attention to how they feel around people and choose friends who make them feel good and safe
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I'm also just worried for my son to be in such environment, he's always been a good boy but we all know that the environment can have an important impact.”source ↗
“My struggle is punishing a child for a parent’s behaviour. I feel badly for this little girl because parents are not allowing their child to befriend her outside of school.”source ↗
“I would be happy to have her come to our home, but I worry about that opening up an avenue to a closer friendship & more play date requests when I know we won’t allow our child to go there.”source ↗
“My struggle is finding the balance. I want my daughter to understand that she doesn’t have to tolerate unkind behavior just because someone is her friend or lives in the neighborhood.”source ↗
“My children wil never be going to their house. I also don’t want the mom at my house, but I’m okay with drop-off play dates at my house and public playdates where the mom isn’t present. I don’t want the child to only be surrounded by racists and I don’t want to punish the child for having racist parents. But man, it’s hard.”source ↗
“My 11 year old has these childhood friends who I’m afraid he’s out growing.”source ↗
“Now my son has been exposed to his delinquency. Those are like his only friends right now but I hate the influence . What do I do ? Do we pick our kids friends for their own good??”source ↗
“Basically I’m exhausted, drained and literally at a loss for what to do.”source ↗
“I feel like he is being bullied and so is our family by these awful people.”source ↗
“My son came into her office upset and crying and says this friend has been staring at him, not speaking, and only shrugs his shoulders at him but won’t speak.”source ↗
Where this came up
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