Said It Here

Why does my child say they hate everything they love?

Children often go through phases of rejecting familiar favorites by reflexively declaring they dislike things they usually enjoy. Hearing this constant negativity wears parents down emotionally, turning routine moments into exhausting power struggles.

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

  1. 1
    responding neutrally with phrases like okay, cool or bummer
  2. 2
    calling out the behavior with humor or sarcasm
  3. 3
    reinforcing boundaries while letting them know they do not have to like everything
  4. 4
    Continuing to flag the spouse's tone in real-time rather than intervening during a direct argument
  5. 5
    Allowing the spouse to deal with the natural consequences of their behavior
  6. 6
    Talking to the child about respectful behavior while encouraging minimal interaction between them
  7. 7
    Asking the child to leave the house
  8. 8
    Charging a small amount of rent
  9. 9
    Setting up a formal list of house rules with a 30-day notice
  10. 10
    Treating them strictly as a tenant requiring market-rate rent
  11. 11
    Approaching behavior like training a puppy and using a firm 'no, try again'
  12. 12
    Refusing to engage with disrespectful language by saying 'I only listen to nice words'
  13. 13
    Calling out the behavior directly by asking if that is how communication will be going forward
  14. 14
    scolding the child
  15. 15
    guilt tripping the child about ruining a good mood
  16. 16
    lecturing the child about listening to the other parent
  17. 17
    ignoring the bad mood and staying out of it

In their words

Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.

Lo and behold, she has started talking to my wife in the same tone. My wife is telling me to “back her up.” I’m like babe, you’ve talked to her like this for 5 years. This is all she knows now.source ↗

anybodyseenrichey · r/Parenting · 182 upvotes

our 8 year old has started doing this to things we know he lovessource ↗

secretsarefun17 · r/Parenting · 36 upvotes

in the last few months she has been saying “I don’t like this” to EVERYTHING. Even things I KNOW she likes.source ↗

hearing “I don’t like this” over and over is exhausting.source ↗

Aggravating-Case-482 · r/Parenting · 23 upvotes

Lately, he has become very disrespectful, and it feels like I can’t even have a conversation with him without getting an aggressive response.source ↗

He also refuses to follow the rules and expectations we have in our home.source ↗

I’m not sure what else I can say or do at this point. I just feel guilty and constantly question whether I’m doing the right thing as a parent.source ↗

SpecificNo8145 · r/Parenting · 17 upvotes

How do I deal with a grumpy teenage daughter who’s constantly snappy, rude, and insulting toward me. and only me, not her mum or anyone else in the family?source ↗

Am I not allowed to have feelings about it? Am I just supposed to get over it straight away?source ↗

Music2MyEars73 · r/Parenting · 9 upvotes

I should have nipped this years ago but didn’t. Each time I gave in when my wife would say I’m not being a united front. But I’m tired of the way she talks to our daughter.source ↗

anybodyseenrichey · r/Parenting · 1 upvotes

I have said things like that to my wife. She comes back with “she’s completely disrespectful to me and you allow it.”source ↗

anybodyseenrichey · r/Parenting · 1 upvotes

My sister does the same to all her kids, and now that they're getting older, she's constantly asking why they're so disrespectful to her and where is this behavior coming from.source ↗

allie06nd · r/Parenting · 1 upvotes

he only sleep 2-3 hrs then he has to go to work or wake up to do chores I become the bad person which is not ok because he is usually angry, has an attitude and start cursing at everyonesource ↗

SpecificNo8145 · r/Parenting · 1 upvotes

Should I be sad about this or should I be brushing it off as "meh... shes a 7 year old." And the main issue... How do you parent this?source ↗

Today she got up, put her stuff on and went and faced the door with her back to me.source ↗

She said nothing. She usually gets up in the back seat getting her backpack on getting ready to get out and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and tells me how much she loves me.source ↗

Bluce_a_Reeee · r/Parenting

Where this came up

People with this problem also raised