Why does my child behave at school but act out at home?
Children often hold it together all day in structured environments like school, saving all their pent-up frustration and meltdowns for the safety of home. This leaves parents dealing with intense defiance, mean behavior toward siblings, and constant fighting without any respite, making them feel completely defeated and at a loss for how to help.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Trying a number of therapists
- 2Trying medication for ADHD
- 3Implementing strict house rules and consequences
- 4Taking away privileges
- 5trying positive reinforcement
- 6removing treats or stopping him from going out with friends
- 7using time outs
- 8talking through rules and reasons
- 9Becoming a homebody and avoiding taking children out to places
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“He's absolutely wearing us down and I don't know what to do.”source ↗
“I feel like I can’t take them anywhere and I’m always embarrassed by how they behave and how they do not listen to me.”source ↗
“I am left feeling embarrassed, overstimulated and discouraged and basically feel like I can’t bring them to do anything anymore.”source ↗
“Our daughter constantly lashes out at home and is very mean, especially to her brother.”source ↗
“The problem or challenge is that she is perfectly fine when she is at school or out in public.”source ↗
“We are at a loss for what to do with her.”source ↗
“It just feels hopeless..”source ↗
“Same, and similar ages. It’s HARD. Not everyone understands. I’ve become such a homebody because everywhere is hard.”source ↗
“i am just at a loss. i was a rule follower if nothing else while i was in school.”source ↗
“i am just at a loss. im defeated by him constantly telling me no and trying to be sneaky and just fighting me on everything. i dont know what to do. please please help.”source ↗
“And I can't stand him. Toddlers are emotional terrorists. And just do nothing but stress you out. I'm actually not okay dealing with this.”source ↗
“Why is my toddler a mess around me?? 6 months is when he just became mental. 10months walking and it was hell from there.”source ↗
“Everyone always says he's great, for anyone looking after him he's wonderful. Why me??”source ↗
Where this came up
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