How to get a preteen to practice basic hygiene without a fight
Preteens frequently resist everyday hygiene tasks like brushing teeth, washing faces, and putting on clean socks, often meeting reminders with moans, scoffing, and outright argument. This constant daily battle leaves parents at their wits' end trying to get basic self-care to stick without losing their temper.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Having gentle discussions and explanations
- 2Setting clear consequences for actions
- 3Nagging and daily verbal reminders
- 4Withholding screen time or using punishments
- 5Using reward systems and positive reinforcement
- 6Waiting for peer pressure or natural consequences to take effect
- 7Making deodorant non-negotiable like brushing teeth
- 8Standing over them to watch them apply it
- 9Applying it for them if they refuse
- 10Using antibacterial body soap
- 11Switching to spray deodorant or clinical strength options
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“No matter how many discussion, I continue to find sanitary wear under her bed.”source ↗
“I am at a loss trying to gently explain to her and I feel like I’m going to flip”source ↗
“She has developed a pretty harsh body odor and she will not wear deodorant.”source ↗
“She flat out refuses.”source ↗
“Any time I bring it up, offer her deodorant, or even remind her of it she acts like I am shaming her and being hateful.”source ↗
“For some reason I cannot get my tween (11) to commit to being hygienic. They scoff and moan when I remind them to brush their teeth. It’s a battle everyday.”source ↗
“Everything from tooth brushing, to face washing to putting on clean socks. I’m at my wits ends, does anyone have any advice on how to hammer this home?”source ↗
“Mostly lack of screen time which is met with the classic “ugh ohhhkkkaaayyyhh” but I wish I could just convince this person brushing your teeth is good quit fighting me every time”source ↗
Where this came up
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