Why do some parents refuse free hand-me-downs?
Some parents reject used children's clothes and toys because they associate second-hand items with poverty, pride, or being seen as "boomers," while others worry about hygiene issues like dirt and bed bugs. This reluctance leaves families with useful gear with nowhere to pass it on except to shelters or schools.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Donating items to women's shelters or local schools instead
- 2Selling items on platforms like Facebook Marketplace
- 3Giving items away strictly with zero pressure and acknowledging personal choice
- 4Discarding or recycling items when no takers can be found
- 5Buying second-hand clothes or size sets from Facebook Marketplace
- 6Thrifting at charity shops
- 7Relying on personal social networks like family members, friends, or coworkers with older children
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I've noticed with some parents though, they are not at all interested in taking something thats used and can even be reluctant to pass things on (no idea why).”source ↗
“With my ex, it was very much a cultural attitude of "that's poor people stuff, I'm way too proud to accept charity"”source ↗
“I have seen this with a friend when they became parents. Nothing could be used, all had to be new. Mostly because they had the horrific idea that if their kid wore hand my down clothes and played with old toys then people would think they are either poor, or were too much like boomers.”source ↗
“Yes, alot of ppl i know wont take handme downs. Im not entirely sure why. I end up donating alot to the womens shelters and the school”source ↗
“Some people don't take second hand items because they associate it with being poor, they are worried about bed bugs or dirt, or they are picky.”source ↗
“We're pretty lucky. My wife is a figure skating coach and we also just happen to have the youngest girls.”source ↗
“We get hand me downs and I give hand me downs. I think it's a matter of if you know people with older kids!”source ↗
Where this came up
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