Is my child just shy or actually anxious?
Parents often cannot tell whether a child's extreme shyness, school withdrawal, or social avoidance is normal temperament or true anxiety. This uncertainty leaves parents questioning whether they are missing a deeper emotional block or if the child's behavior is just a passing phase.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Checking ages and stages development checklists and reading recommended parenting books
- 2Trying to ease the child out of anxiety using small incentives or bribes like chocolate
- 3Waiting to see if the behavior is just part of a sensitive temperament
- 4encouraging her to invite friends over for dinner
- 5trying to force yourself to go out
- 6engaging in home hobbies like drawing, reading, and watching comfort shows
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“she prefers to stay at home, she claims several reasons for this: study (she is taking school extremely seriously), not many friends”source ↗
“there is also a component about her being a bit unsure of herself, so she tends to avoid social situations as she does not really know how to handle them. She told me the cause it was because she was bullied for a couple of years in primary school”source ↗
“I have to say I am a bit lost, in a way I feel this is not right but it looks to be a choice of her. On the other hand, I am asking myself if she has something that blocks her from having a different and more intense social life.”source ↗
“Which makes me think maybe it’s just temperament vs true anxiety bc ok a 1.5 year old Also probably is too young to have anxiety lol”source ↗
“Our 3 year old at home and with our friends and family seems completely normal. Very smart, laughs, smiles, plays, makes eye contact, has great language skills, etc. But he has so many anxieties.”source ↗
“At school we hear he keeps to himself, mostly watches the other kids, he tells us he doesn’t like playing with some of the other kids because they are loud, or has some other random reasons.”source ↗
“My gut feeling is that this is all normal but he’s on the sensitive side a little. But I don’t want to be missing anything.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 12How to handle extreme toddler separation anxiety and tantrums
- 11How to help a shy child make friends
- 6How to help a young child who gets easily embarrassed
- 7How to help a toddler with a sudden intense fear
- 3How to help a child who refuses to play sports from anxiety
- 5How to handle severe public speaking anxiety as a new teacher