How do you know when you're done having kids?
Deciding when to stop having children usually comes down to hard limits on finances, physical exhaustion from difficult pregnancies, and a lack of energy to keep up with daily parenting. Pushing past these physical and financial boundaries leaves parents feeling depleted, which drives them to close the door on growing their family further.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1doing the math on household finances and college costsDid this help you?
- 2waiting until kids are older and out of the diaper stage to evaluate freedomDid this help you?
- 3getting a vasectomy or undergoing other permanent birth controlDid this help you?
- 4focusing on the existing children and personal healthDid this help you?
- 5Waiting until the older child reaches a certain age like 3 or school age before tryingDid this help you?
- 6Starting early assuming it will take a long time to conceiveDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“My wife, 28 and myself, 29, have two kids ages 3 and 1. We have another on the way and this thought has been on my mind. Wow, is this going to be our last kid?”source ↗
“We’ve got a little girl who is 18months and we know we want another child but unsure if a small or bigger age gap is better?”source ↗
“We can’t afford this for 3 kids, so we’re done.”source ↗
“Being a parent is hard and I’m thankful every day that we stuck to just the one.”source ↗
“Pregnancy was awful to my wife, she was in so much pain, at one point my wife was using a cane because my daughter was sitting on her nerve.”source ↗
“My most recent pregnancy was 3 years after the 2nd pregnancy, and it was SO much harder, physically...”source ↗
“Not having the energy to keep up. Losing sleep. Trying to stay sane. No time to myself. Yeah im done with just 2 lol.”source ↗
“we weren't mentally capable thinking of a second kid till our first was 2 bc he was a poor sleeper hisnforst year of life and it really drained us.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 13Why do I change my mind every day about having kids?
- 8How to cope with being one and done against your choice
- 3Tips for having a second child after a big age gap
- 2When is it time for a baby's first haircut?
- 8When should I stop watering my lawn for winter?
- 5When is it actually okay to move a baby to their own room?