What to do when you genuinely dislike a student
Teachers often experience intense guilt and professional anxiety when they personally dislike a disruptive student. This internal conflict leads to worrying that the student notices harsher treatment, ultimately making it difficult to maintain professional distance and peace of mind.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
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What to do when you genuinely dislike a student
- 1giving yourself grace and accepting that it is normal not to love every studentDid this help you?
- 2maintaining strict professional distance and keeping interactions neutralDid this help you?
- 3focusing on fixing one specific behavior at a time using class stories or expectationsDid this help you?
- 4acting extra nice and polite to model better behavior and potentially shift their attitudeDid this help you?
- 5Treating the student with respect despite personal disdainDid this help you?
- 6Checking in with paras or colleagues to ensure fair and equal treatmentDid this help you?
- 7Controlling personal interactions and maintaining professionalism as the adult in the roomDid this help you?
- 8Accepting that not every student will call you their favoriteDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“How do you, especially as a people pleaser, handle when a student doesn’t like you?”source ↗
“She expressed to her parents a couple instances where she didn’t like my tone and is feeling pressured in the classroom, and the parents are fighting to have her removed from my room.”source ↗
“I’m heartbroken and second guessing every move I make now.”source ↗
“I would honestly go as far as saying — although I would obviously never say this out loud — that I simply don’t like this child.”source ↗
“At the end of some days, I feel incredibly guilty about it and keep replaying situations in my head.”source ↗
“I feel like a mean teacher when it comes to her and I know it's so unprofessional.”source ↗
“I feel like I’m “meaner” to her, and I worry that she might notice it too. It just makes me feel really awful, like I’m not able to maintain that professional distance.”source ↗
“I feel bad but I also know that some kids are just assholes.”source ↗
“Hey yall, I am a middle school teacher of 10 years and I can say this is the first time I have genuinely disliked a student due to their behavior/personality.”source ↗
“If you have experienced this how did you not let it show that you did not like them.”source ↗
“This student has told other teachers that I do not like them, however every time I have had to correct/redirect I feel I have been fair and not bias.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 3How to manage a classroom without being the mean teacher
- 2How to handle a clingy and manipulative student
- 19What to do when your 7-year-old defies teachers and disrupts class
- 2How to handle a student who says I love you and gets too attached?
- 54How to handle disrespectful student micro-aggressions and boundary-crossing
- 9How to help a kid who hates middle school