Finding roles for guests outside the bridal party
Couples often want to honor extended family and close friends at their wedding without expanding an already large bridal party. However, creating "honorary" tiers or color-coordinated crews often offends these guests by giving them obligations without the full status of a bridesmaid or groomsman.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Letting them simply attend as regular guests without any added obligations or dress codes.Did this help you?
- 2Having grandparents escorted down the aisle and seated in the front row with a corsage.Did this help you?
- 3Asking a grandmother to provide a literal "something blue" item (like a handkerchief or pin) while getting ready.Did this help you?
- 4Accepting the larger number and just asking them to be official bridesmaids.Did this help you?
- 5Inviting them to the bachelorette party or to get ready in the bridal suite the morning of.Did this help you?
- 6Asking them to do readings at the ceremony or serve as witnesses for the license signing.Did this help you?
- 7Creating a 'something blue crew' or asking them to wear a coordinating color without giving them official duties.Did this help you?
- 8Letting them enjoy the day as regular guests without responsibilities.Did this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“I got sucked into some wedding drama at one point because the bride had three bridesmaids, and then asked a fourth friend to be an “honorary bridesmaid”, and that girl was really upset. I was good friends with both of them, but not close enough with the bride to have expected to be a bridesmaid, so I ended up with both of them venting to me about the situation.”source ↗
“So I have 9 bridesmaids currently. I am on the fence about adding a 10th. My bf has 8-10 groomsmen depending on who he includes as well. That means his cousins won’t be able to be in my bridal party bc 9-10 is already a lot, so I’m thinking about doing a “something blue crew” with them and some others who I want in my bridal party and can’t have”source ↗
“My brother is my officiant since we have no groomsmen (lesbians). I’ll seat my close cousin who didn’t make the bridesmaid cut at the table with the bridal party.”source ↗
“I am having 9 bridesmaids, which is a lot but I honestly cannot bring it down at all bc I have 4 cousins that have to be in it and 5 friends that I’ve known forever & the only person I could exclude would cause insane drama... I actually have 3 more girls I want as bridesmaids but 12 would be so many.”source ↗
“So what are other roles besides bridesmaids that I could give my friends that way they are still a part of my day somehow but makes the numbers more even for both of us bridesmaid/groomsmen wise.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 10How to choose a bridal party without hurting feelings
- 2How to ask parents to handle wedding guest outreach
- 5Is it rude to invite only some cousins to a wedding?
- 3Day-of coordinator won't set up wedding decor
- 6Should I invite a couple if they only invited my fiancé?
- 23How to avoid chaotic seat scrambling at a reception