Why does my kid beg to join activities and then fight going?
Kids often beg for activities they genuinely love but put up a massive fight when it is actually time to leave for practice. This resistance usually stems from the difficulty of transitions rather than a dislike for the activity itself, leaving parents paying for classes they have to drag their children to or consider quitting entirely.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Enforcing a strict rule that children must finish out the season or see commitments through once signed upDid this help you?
- 2Allowing the child to quit after the current commitment ends and avoiding signing them up for things in the futureDid this help you?
- 3Managing difficult transitions by giving earlier mental preparation, visual schedules, calendars, or avoiding fun activities right before practiceDid this help you?
- 4Pushing through the resistance by making them go anyway, knowing they will enjoy it once they arriveDid this help you?
- 5taking a break for a month or soDid this help you?
- 6talking through it, normalizing accidents, sharing embarrassing moments, and offering rewardsDid this help you?
- 7keep showing up and just sit in the lobby without forcing her to go inDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“My younger daughter, 8, is the queen of begging to sign up for activities and then not wanting to go when it comes time for practices, etc.”source ↗
“Then, I pay for her to play and she doesn't want to go.”source ↗
“I am at the point where I would rather just have her quit, than hear her complain or fight with her to go anymore.”source ↗
“My 5.5yo absolutely LOVES gymnastics, begged to be signed up, practiced at home daily, etc. Every week for class it would be a fight to get to the car and yet, every week, had the most fun ever learning new moves and practicing.”source ↗
“My four year old is the same. She has a great time once she’s there but never wants to go and I think it’s because transitions are hard.”source ↗
“a mum who had eighteen months of poop withholding issues because I tried to force things initially.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 5How to get over having to cancel a trip
- 4Why do kids hate hobbies as soon as parents show interest?
- 6Why does getting kids ready to leave turn into a battle?
- 2How to quit a volunteer project that's a mess
- 4Feeling guilty about cancelling plans at the last minute
- 11Should I let my child quit their activity?