Why is my new high-energy puppy so overwhelming?
Many owners get high-energy working breeds without realizing the massive daily stimulation and exercise requirements these dogs demand. This mismatch leads to chaotic behavior like constant noise, biting, and destructive energy, leaving owners feeling trapped, exhausted, and deeply unprepared.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1adjusting lifestyle and dog training protocols
- 2stopping training classes
- 3surrendering dogs to animal shelters
- 4giving away or selling dogs online
- 5Enforce naps in the crate
- 6Give yourself free time and leave the puppy in the crate for a few hours to get out
- 7Use routine, structure, and redirection to toys
- 8Apply bitter apple spray to furniture and ankles
- 9Use audio books or heartbeat toys to soothe the puppy
- 10Waiting for the dog to age out of the puppy and adolescent phase
- 11Using enforced crate schedules (such as two hours in, one hour out)
- 12Redirecting unwanted behaviors
- 13Lowering expectations for perfection
- 14Seeking reassurance and advice on online forums
- 15Crate training and enforcing nap hours
- 16Sharing responsibilities and support with a partner
- 17Waiting for time to pass and letting an adjustment period happen naturally
- 18Shifting perspective to see the positive moments
- 19reframing expectations of success and celebrating small wins
- 20taking time for yourself and stepping away into a different room
- 21using daycare for sanity breaks
- 22using a play pen to create a safe environment and mental break
- 23adopting adult dogs instead of puppies
- 24hiring trainers, petsitters, and groomers
- 25venting online and seeking support groups
- 26returning the dog to the breeder
- 27Feeding formula round the clock
- 28Making food sludge for extra calories
- 29Keeping the kitten warm
- 30Taking the animal to a vet
- 31Returning the kitten to foster care
- 32Consulting a vet to check if it is safe to keep the kitten while another cat is sick
- 33Giving the new addition a chance and letting time help heal
- 34Just keep doing the basics and wait for it to get better gradually
- 35Survive the first weeks and do not expect to bond instantly
- 36Checking if gums are pink and ensuring the puppy is not acting lethargic
- 37Offering water to see if the puppy drinks it
- 38Adding water into the puppy's food during feedings
- 39Giving yourself and the pup lots of grace
- 40Doing research into the 3-3-3 guidelines for adjustment periods
- 41Reading and researching about what to do and whether behavior makes sense
- 42Taking the dog back to the vet for pain meds, temperature checks, and anti-nausea medication.
- 43working with a professional trainer regularly
- 44keeping the puppy in a playpen most of the day
- 45trying re-directing and small corrections seen online
- 46using a leash outside and separating the puppy from other dogs when she lunges
- 47Remaining patient, following routines, and implementing measures to bond with the puppy
- 48Surrendering the puppy back to the shelter or rescue
- 49Waiting a few weeks to see if the feelings pass (giving it 2-3 weeks)
- 50Taking it one day at a time
- 51Looking into the 3-3-3 rule for pet adjustment
- 52Enforcing naps using a crate and black-out crate cover
- 53Tracking sleep by minutes to ensure the puppy gets enough rest
- 54Using frozen lick mats, snuffle mats, and scent-related games to calm the puppy down
- 55Shortening active awake periods to prevent overtiredness
- 56Hiring an online or in-person dog trainer
- 57Sticking it out and creating a routine
- 58Seeking support and reassurance from online communities
- 59getting up every 2 hours to cuddle and settle the puppy back to sleep
- 60waiting for him to stop whining instead of getting up immediately
- 61moping every day and cleaning accidents with enzymatic cleaner
- 62Using a flirt pole and food puzzles to wear out the puppy's brain instead of just its body.
- 63ignoring the crying and letting the puppy learn to settle
- 64closing doors and using baby gates to restrict access
- 65monitoring the puppy via camera while taking a bath or doing tasks
- 66doing a lot of research online and reading wiki articles
- 67setting up a playpen, crate, and pee pads
- 68following structured schedules like 1 hour out and 2 hours in the crate
- 69surrender the kitten to a no-kill shelter
- 70keep the kitten and quarantine her from the existing cat
- 71waiting several years before getting another dog
- 72giving yourself permission to not feel magical immediately
- 73Asking experienced dog owners for advice on games and mental stimulation
- 74Using puzzle feeders and hiding treats to wear the dog out mentally
- 75going on 25 to 35 minute walks twice a day
- 76giving frozen kongs, bully sticks, cow ears, pig ears, and other chews
- 77providing many toys and daily training sessions
- 78timing everything in sync with the puppy's naps or waiting until the partner is home
- 79texting the breeder to potentially return the puppy
- 80Trying to keep the puppy on a strict daily schedule for naps, meals, and potty breaks
- 81sleeping on a mattress on the floor next to the puppy's pen
- 82taking the puppy outside every 1-2 hours
- 83getting up every hour to check using a baby monitor
- 84considering splitting shifts or alternating nights off
- 85Turning back
- 86Waiting for four paws
- 87Rewarding calm
- 88Encouraging a displacement behavior by having the dog pick up a toy
- 89sharing the caregiving responsibilities with family members
- 90taking deep breaths and trying to relax
- 91Waiting a designated trial period like a week or a couple of months to see if feelings improve
- 92Putting the puppy down for enforced naps every couple of hours
- 93Considering returning the puppy to the shelter
- 94Leaving the room and closing the door for 5-10 seconds when biting occurs
- 95Watching puppies closely during walks and potty breaks to manage overstimulation
- 96Rewarding puppies when they chill and do nothing
- 97returning the puppy to the breeder or finding it a new home
- 98waiting until after college to get a dog or adopting an older pet with a lower energy level
- 99trying the 1 hour play, 2 hour nap method
- 100using snuffle mats, kongs, or frozen nylabones in a pen
- 101taking the puppy out for extra potty breaks
- 102taking turns sleeping out in the main room near the crate
- 103enrolling in group puppy training and boot camp programs
- 104Waiting for the dog to mature and age past the first year
- 105Reminding oneself that hard work and training will pay off eventually
- 106Contacting the breeder to consider returning the puppy
- 107stopping medical treatments and letting the pet eat what it wants
- 108skipping or deciding against medication doses because of stress and side effects
- 109making food changes to help with organ health
- 110Boarding the dog during visits
- 111Keeping the dog separated or on a leash
- 112Leaving the dog in a bedroom
- 113watching training videos
- 114asking for favorite training tips and videos from community members
- 115leaving them undisturbed until morning
- 116watching the kittens through a room cam
- 117transitioning to a smaller, kitten-safe room
- 118leaving out dry free feed food
- 119getting everything needed within a couple of days
- 120monitoring their health and providing ample playtime
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“man… is anyone else tired of seeing all the posts of people who get these big, working dog breeds and then are extremely overwhelmed bc the dog is busy af!?”source ↗
““I’ll admit I didn’t do any research but I’m losing my mind!” type of posts”source ↗
““my lifestyle would have suited a toy breed but instead i got a border collie poodle husky mix, when will my puppy start acting like a pug?? What do i do?””source ↗
“When you’re in the thick of puppyhood it’s hard. You’re exhausted. You’re wondering if x behavior will last forever. You’re overthinking every small thing cause you might “ruin your dog”.”source ↗
“I didn’t like her at all for six months or so. I cried a lot. She was a terror.”source ↗
“I genuinely thought that we'd get a dog, there'd be a period of adjustment, and our old life would return, now with a dog in it. It has been two months and I'm just seeing that the old life is gone, and what we have is an entirely new, different life.”source ↗
“I found the first month really hard - he had no training, and I had never trained a dog. It felt like there was a stranger in the house with me. I felt so much pressure and responsibility to not mess up, to make him happy, comfy.”source ↗
“raising a puppy alone is so so hard.”source ↗
“I miss my old dogs so much I want to cry.”source ↗
“I am never getting another puppy. I didn't want a puppy but we rescued her at 2 weeks old from neglectful neighbours. A puppy is A LOT.”source ↗
“On month 5. Morale is low. Bank account even lower. Never getting a puppy again”source ↗
““I did my research on Australian shepherds and now my 9mo puppy is at home in a crate 8h a day and is too wild to walk and she was too smart for training class so we stopped going also she bites my kids.””source ↗
“It’s hard to pour all your energy, time, and love into an animal that just wants to bite you constantly.”source ↗
“I feel so guilty because some days I really want to give it up.”source ↗
“it’s just all too much rn idk what to do I’m super emotional bc she deserves the best life but we’re struggling finically and idk if our cat will be okay with this”source ↗
“I don’t want to put her back, I want her to be loved forever I just don’t know what to do”source ↗
“My pup is 8 months old and I’m just so tired and resentful all the time.”source ↗
“The razor teeth is probably the absolute worst part of it for me. I can handle everything else but being gnawed at is the worst.”source ↗
““Why is my husky so naughty and LOUD ALL DAY?!” BECAUSE HE GETS 10 MINUTES OUTSIDE AND ZERO STIMULATION, PHIL.”source ↗
“I’m mentally and physically exhausted from cleaning up and he feels like a legit new born. I feel like I’m starting to resent him and it makes me guilty.”source ↗
“If I could go back maybe I wouldn’t have gotten him which I hate that that thought even crosses my mind... isn’t that weird to feel like that?”source ↗
“We are just 24 hours in and I feel like I made a mistake.”source ↗
“hi guys! this is rufus he is my first kitty. i grew up with a dog so i am still learning. what is your best advice for my sweet rufus, or a first time cat owner?”source ↗
“I just adopted my first ever dog (xoloitzcuintli and whippet mix) from the shelter 2 days ago and I’m already feeling the puppy blues but more so because I cannot get a read on her.”source ↗
“when I pet her she goes stiff and shows alllll the body signs of being uncomfortable.”source ↗
“I’m feeling super overwhelmed that she may never improve.”source ↗
“mine is 8 months now, he’s a fucking demon and omg the money I’ve dropped on this little screeching ghoul between the vet visits the Petsitter the trainer and the showering him with gifts…”source ↗
“on month 6 with my puppy! got him when he was 2 1/2 months! My bank account is low sleep deprivation is real”source ↗
“I don’t know what I thought it was going to be like, but I feel absolutely awful.”source ↗
“I have never felt worse than I do after putting her through this.”source ↗
“i have a 10 month old right now and will never do this again lol”source ↗
“We’re on month 4 and I had to google “I hate my puppy” because I was worried there was something wrong with me”source ↗
“Didn’t get all the bells and whistles in, but got food, water, litter box and car caves in. They are settling well, but not eating to my satisfaction yet, but they have only been with us for 8 hours so stress levels are probably still high.”source ↗
“Pancit had what looked and sounded like a hairball vomit, but only produced liquid/bile. Cleaned it all up and am doing my best to let them be while silently panicking as I watch through my room cam.”source ↗
“Any concerns or thoughts on the heaves and vomit/bile? Right now I am chalking it up to date of stress, but would love thoughts.”source ↗
“the first weeks i was like what have i done, i ruined my quiet life.”source ↗
“Not gonna lie, the first couple weeks was hell for me and my girlfriend.”source ↗
“2 days after I got him, I joined this /r all in tears as puppy blues got me hard.”source ↗
“Everything that moves, breathes, or smells like my feet would have been torn apart. It lasts for half an hour, maybe up to an hour a day, but it’s just heartbreaking when you just watch and don’t know what to do, how to help him”source ↗
“unexpected situation and wasn’t prepared but got everything within a couple days”source ↗
“send some advice as a first time pawrent”source ↗
“some days I walk in the door and just feel dread instead of the warm fuzzy puppy feelings I expected. Then I feel guilty because she's just a baby being excited that I'm home.”source ↗
“all I feel is nervousness that I’ve jumped into this too quickly.”source ↗
“That I won’t like the new puppy because I had something so special with my last.”source ↗
“What if all I do is compare and he falls short.”source ↗
“What if I can’t do this (I.e. intense medical care) all over again”source ↗
“I’m finding every reason under the sun to worry or regret my choice.”source ↗
“My husband wakes up every day and asks if we can rehome the dog yet so I appreciate this perspective and know it'll get better but the lack of sleep while working a full time job and packing to move into a home may kill me lol”source ↗
“In the first few weeks I was so riddled with the stress of getting his routine right, potty training, settling him - I'd get up and instantly feel anxious about it all.”source ↗
“I've been crying for my beloved girl, I feel kinda overwhelmed tbh.”source ↗
“I’ve had a knot in my stomach and extreme anxiety ever since.”source ↗
“I have cried pretty much non stop for the past 24 hours and told myself I’ll give her 7 days to see if I genuinely enjoy having her.”source ↗
“Part of me wants to just wait 2 years until we have a yard and bigger house.”source ↗
“Our puppy is now 24 weeks old, and I’m still experiencing what I would describe as extreme puppy blues.”source ↗
“I feel like my entire life revolves around the puppy.”source ↗
“The hardest part is that I can’t seem to switch off from it.”source ↗
“In the end we just felt like it was all too much and the treatment was making her illness longer and worse.”source ↗
“We were so worried about her.”source ↗
“I just got my puppy and tomorrow will be her first full day at home.”source ↗
“I’ve done a lot of research but I’m still feeling nervous.”source ↗
“I guess I’m just asking for reassurance that I’m not effing this up because I’m nervous.”source ↗
“Going through the exact thing now 😴”source ↗
“I just feel as if made a big mistake and should have waited for her to graduate and us move out to get a dog.”source ↗
“I feel terrible because I have always wanted a dog but the stress and lack of help is making me physically sick.”source ↗
“I have had an upset stomach and haven’t been eating well all week. I don’t know what to do.”source ↗
“I think I just need some reassurance as the puppy blues are hitting much harder than expected.”source ↗
“I’ve still cried every night since he’s been home - its been about six days and I’m struggling with my confidence.”source ↗
“my arms are torn up from his little puppy teeth and he just tries to eat EVERYTHING.”source ↗
“I honestly felt like death with how little sleep we both were getting.”source ↗
“I have this lingering anxiety all the time that I’m doing something wrong.”source ↗
“I am so scared.”source ↗
“How did you guys find peace during fostering such young animals?”source ↗
“keeping up that training will be a learning curve for me so any advice there would be great.”source ↗
“I guess I hope she adjusts fine after being kind of moved around for a bit. Anything i can do to help there?”source ↗
“The lack of sleep is sooo tough.”source ↗
“nothing is worse than the biting and witching.”source ↗
“My puppy is a lunatic and has stopped listening to me. I work from home and I stress about leaving her alone.”source ↗
“I don’t even need a good dog. I just need a dog who isn’t constantly overtired, would sleep longer than one hour at a time and might consider not pissing where she sleeps despite multiple chances to do otherwise. I feel very stupid indeed.”source ↗
“i am so incredibly anxious about training wrong. i am constantly scared i am creating bad habits and im just doing my best to do what's right but i also don't know what's right because everyone has different opinions.”source ↗
“i have been watching all sorts of videos from tons of different folks and it always makes me feel really bad when the video is "here is how i trained my puppy to stop biting in 3 days!!!!!" or all these commands they're able to do and i am just so anxious im doing everything wrong and that im failing him.”source ↗
“i just feel like im doing everything wrong”source ↗
“I got my puppy 2 months ago, I've been in a constant freeze state, functional and able to do what's needed, but really not enjoying my time with my pup. Last night I was feeling pretty bad for being a bad dog owner for not loving my pup enough.”source ↗
“I have a 10 week collie boy. He is a pretty easy pup but every day life is tough often, not much time for my own hobbies and things.”source ↗
“Reading this after just cleaning up pee by the front door. Thanks needed to hear it 😂”source ↗
“Yeah I hated mine a lot of days and told my husband I didn’t want her anymore.”source ↗
“indigo has been… awful. she isn’t affectionate, no amount of exercise/mental stimulation/enrichment/training is enough for her, she doesn’t have a calm bone in her body.”source ↗
“im so tired.”source ↗
“I've cried several times, beaten myself up endlessly, felt a bit heartbroken at letting my little dog down, and generally am more stressed than I can remember.”source ↗
“My partner just said "I think we might be out of our depth here" which made me want to cry even more.”source ↗
“I'm on day three of fostering and I've cried every single day.”source ↗
“i can't shake this feeling.”source ↗
“it wasn't until she arrived that I felt this sinking heaviness.”source ↗
“i don't know if I should tough it out and risk my mental health getting worse, or surrender her back to the shelter and make sure she gets the home she deserves.”source ↗
“I’m getting frustrated cause she won’t stop biting or chewing shoes, she gets greedy with treats and bites my hand hard, she won’t stop biting my ankles, she keeps making messes, keeps having accidents no matter how many times I take her out, she isn’t recalling and I’m getting so frustrated and tired - I know it’ll be worth it but this is just getting a lot- she’s only 9 weeks so I know this is all normal but I feel so over stimulated”source ↗
“Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my puppy so much, he’s a pitbull who’s 4 months. But I don’t think I’ve ever been so mentally drained, I work, have college, my tattoo business and him on top of it PLUS my 9 other pets and the 3 animals I foster.”source ↗
“I have no time to myself I’ve genuinely looked a mess this past month and that says a lot as normally I am very put together. But please does it get better and how long till he just learns to be calm”source ↗
“My issue is, now that the two weeks are done, my husband is back to his work away from home, and I'm currently juggling studies + work (although typically not all day every day).”source ↗
“I am typically quite independent and spontaneous,and love my freedom, so this has been quite an adjustment.”source ↗
“I am feeling really annoyed and overwhelmed with the change in my schedule.”source ↗
“we definitely were not expected the stress we’ve been experiencing.”source ↗
“I think like a lot of people sleep deprivation after getting a puppy can lead them to regret their decision and completely panic/shut down and that is where we’ve been the last couple days.”source ↗
“Suffice to say we were exhausted.”source ↗
“we have no idea how to progress to getting more sleep at night because we both work from home full time and just cannot function.”source ↗
“I’m feeling completely overwhelmed and could really use some perspective from people who have been through the puppy/adolescent stage.”source ↗
“I am exhausted from managing her.”source ↗
“I’m exhausted and overwhelmed and starting to wonder whether I made a mistake.”source ↗
“At first I was having a hard time, but eventually I said fuck it.”source ↗
“But the stress of giving it to her has led me to often decide it's not worth it.”source ↗
“It's so hard to know if our decisions are right when our babies are sick!”source ↗
“I also felt like the 5+ vet visits we did in the span of a month were adding to her illness.”source ↗
“last night I got so stressed I just cried myself to sleep.”source ↗
“I guess I'm kind of starting to regret ever agreeing on this decision, and I feel very ashamed of telling this to her.”source ↗
“the crying in night hits hard when you're already exhausted”source ↗
“Oh my god this is a relief to me I was getting so anxious 😭 thank you.”source ↗
“I don’t feel any bond with her yet, and I feel wrong for that.”source ↗
“It’s getting to the point that as soon as she is out of the playpen, it’s open season on us”source ↗
“her bitting and behavior towards the other dogs are starting to concern me”source ↗
“it's like i get a heavy chest when i think about keeping her but i feel better if i think about finding her a better owner”source ↗
“i don’t have much advice because i’m in the thick of it too- 9 weeks. but just know you’re not alone. it’s been hard.”source ↗
“I had severe puppy blues when I got my dog. Cried every day for 2 weeks because she was so hyper she would not switch off or nap.”source ↗
“I had serious puppy blues and regret after we go our dog - we just celebrated her fourth gotcha day and she's my best friend now .”source ↗
“almost 2 weeks in and I'm exhausted and just wonder how much of a life i can give him as a single person who works full time.”source ↗
“Mine was a holy terror for the first 6 months but eventually chilled out. You're in the worst part of it right now, the 2-week exhaustion hit is real for any puppy, not just this breed.”source ↗
“I just want a little alone time once in a while. How can I do that without her crying?”source ↗
“I just feel like I can’t do anything or have anything.”source ↗
“The jumping and biting at clothes was what almost pushed me over the edge with our golden at that age.”source ↗
“Ik heb op het moment de meest erge puppyblues. Hij is nu 6 dagen bij ons.”source ↗
“Ook al weet ik dat hij het goed doet, kom ik niet van de stress, angst en zorgen af.”source ↗
“Ik slaap slecht. Eet niet en heb de hele dag zenuwen.”source ↗
“kom ik niet van het gevoel af of we dit wel moeten doen.”source ↗
“I really want to enjoy him but his behavior makes it hard. We are giving him everything we got and we are overwhelmed and exhausted.”source ↗
“Many of us have been where OP is right now: overwhelmed, exhausted, and wondering if they made a mistake.”source ↗
“I had a 2 year old dog already and got a puppy so they would have company. The first one was easy, the second one I was emotionally wrecked over for months.”source ↗
“I’ve cried endlessly, gotten angry and frustrated and questioned if I’m a good dog mom.”source ↗
“Hi guys I need advice! My puppy is about 5 months old. It's his second day at home and I'm concerned he might be dehydrated.”source ↗
“His gums are a healthy pink and he's still playful but they feel dry and I've been researching online and its only scaring me more.”source ↗
“I have a 1-month-old Poodle x Chow Chow puppy, and I’ve only had him for 3 days, but I’m already completely exhausted and frustrated. I’m seriously considering returning him, and I feel guilty even thinking about it.”source ↗
“At night, I put him in his playpen in my room where he sleeps. He wakes up roughly every 2 hours and starts whining and barking. I usually get up, cuddle him, and settle him back to sleep.”source ↗
“I genuinely didn’t realize having a puppy would mean getting almost no sleep, especially at this age.”source ↗
“Constant crying, so anxious I can’t eat & feel sick. I feel horrible because I want to return him & have never experienced this feeling.”source ↗
“I have puppy blues so horribly bad.”source ↗
“my grades have slipped very very bad, to the point where it is a genuine possibility I will flunk out.”source ↗
“When I do finally have time to myself after he falls asleep, I am so burnt out that I can’t even use the time productively”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
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