How is anyone actually affording a large wedding?
Venues and vendors charge unexpectedly high and predatory prices that overwhelm couples with financial anxiety. This leaves people wondering how anyone can afford their dream wedding without going into debt or relying on family help, often making them want to abandon the plans entirely to elope.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Saving money aggressively over several yearsDid this help you?
- 2Getting financial help or contributions from parentsDid this help you?
- 3Taking out 0% interest payment plans or going into debtDid this help you?
- 4Reducing the guest list or having a destination weddingDid this help you?
- 5Choosing non-traditional or off-season venuesDid this help you?
- 6DIYing decor and hiring newer or less expensive vendorsDid this help you?
- 7Looking at regional subreddits for cost breakdowns and spreadsheetsDid this help you?
- 8Asking the caterer to upgrade food and drinks or add extras to meet the minimum spend instead of paying for empty seatsDid this help you?
- 9Choosing three core priorities with a partner and treating everything else as a minor detailDid this help you?
- 10Selling items after the wedding to recoup costs and stay under budgetDid this help you?
- 11Having basic drinks and a cash bar instead of an open barDid this help you?
- 12Serving simpler food like pizza and cake instead of multi-course meals and snacksDid this help you?
- 13Choosing a wedding location closer to home despite travel inconvenience for guestsDid this help you?
- 14Choosing all-inclusive venues or hotel ballrooms instead of aesthetic standalone venuesDid this help you?
- 15Renting items from third-party rental companiesDid this help you?
- 16DIYing decor items like seating charts instead of hiring vendorsDid this help you?
- 17Choosing to elope due to high costsDid this help you?
- 18Serving casual and inexpensive food like pizza and beer at someone's houseDid this help you?
- 19Trimming down the guest list for the rehearsal to only the people standing at the altarDid this help you?
- 20Skipping the rehearsal entirely if an experienced officiant is usedDid this help you?
- 21Using fake or silk flowers from craft stores or bulk salesDid this help you?
- 22Ordering wholesale or bulk flowers from CostcoDid this help you?
- 23Renting floral collections from companies like Something Borrowed BloomsDid this help you?
- 24Using semi-corporate floral services like Poppy FlowersDid this help you?
- 25Scaling back floral arrangements significantly or keeping table scapes simpleDid this help you?
- 26Delaying other major milestones like buying a house to afford the weddingDid this help you?
- 27Scaling back to a smaller event or a backyard wedding to save money for other prioritiesDid this help you?
- 28Evaluating total overall savings, income, and additional hidden wedding costs before committingDid this help you?
- 29Bringing up the financial burden casually to the brideDid this help you?
- 30Skipping or reducing the wedding gift to offset costsDid this help you?
- 31Backing out of the bridal party or reevaluating the friendshipDid this help you?
- 32Getting significant financial help from parentsDid this help you?
- 33Aggressively saving for years and having a long engagementDid this help you?
- 34Having a small, less expensive wedding or elopingDid this help you?
- 35Cutting back on non-necessities and putting aside money from each paycheckDid this help you?
- 36Elope somewhere beautifulDid this help you?
- 37Have a small wedding with immediate family, a taco truck, and a guitarist in a backyardDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“You will go over budget, as long as you dont go into debt i think youre doing great and ITS NORMAL.”source ↗
“Things come up that you dont expect (even if you think you account for everything like me)”source ↗
“I’ve been thinking a lot about wedding planning, looking at prices and I don’t know how people do cheap weddings.”source ↗
“Do we need that much? Idk but it’s lowkey starting to stress me out a bit because idk if that’s too big.”source ↗
“In the meantime, how were you guys able to budget? Right now, I’m working two jobs, not making a bunch of money.”source ↗
“Did y’all take out loans? Aggressively save? Save together in a joint accounts?”source ↗
“How much should we be realistically saving for the wedding and reception?”source ↗
“Genuinely….the wedding industry I knew was expensive, but some of this stuff is just straight up predatory.”source ↗
“It’s just very overwhelming, it gives me financial anxiety and even though we both have this vision for our reception it makes me want to just say fuck all of this, book a flight out to a tropical country and elope.”source ↗
“I guess my question is: how is anyone affording the wedding of their dreams or anything close to it?”source ↗
“Is this typical? Bride is not giving a choice for us to get hair and makeup done. It is a few hundred dollars and she is expecting us to also tip.”source ↗
“So I guess I’m asking: Would spending around $45k on a wedding be irresponsible?”source ↗
“For anyone who spent a large chunk of money on their wedding, did you regret it afterward? Or did you feel like it was worth it?”source ↗
“I’m really torn because I don’t want to look back and think, “Why did we spend that much on one day?” But I also don’t want to talk myself out of something really special just because other people think it’s too expensive.”source ↗
“Catering 140 for only 101 confirmed guests 😭 I’ve now learned that you tell them the least amount then you add on top later!!”source ↗
“we forgot to even budget for our honeymoon! We thought it would be really special to travel straight after our wedding. I don’t want to save up again for our honeymoon.”source ↗
“I feel like all the regrets are hitting me hard now”source ↗
“One of my cousins got married recently and told me later, that all of the flowers were fake. I didn’t even notice at all. whether due to having fun or they just look very real.”source ↗
“i’ve been starting to look at venues and vendors for our wedding, and i’m realizing pretty quickly that there’s a huge range in what things can cost.”source ↗
“i’m trying to compare the bigger categories first, like venue and catering, photography, music, flowers, attire and everything else that tends to get added along the way.”source ↗
“We’re planning on having a rehearsal but no rehearsal dinner. The only reason we aren’t doing one is because we can’t afford it honestly.”source ↗
“It would be about 20 people (including ourselves) we would have to pay for and I don’t want to make anyone feel under appreciated or come off as cheap or rude but ultimately I don’t think we can make it work.”source ↗
“I bought some fake flowers to test out, because the table flowers were just going to be out of our budget. Everyone has their own opinion, but to me they looked fake and I did not like that.”source ↗
“We just got quoted from the florist i wanted 4K for what we were looking for, so we’re definitely doing the table stuff ourselves.”source ↗
“I’m with you, I was shocked at the minimum for florist.”source ↗
“Unfortunately everything is booked and it's too late to cancel, it also seems like I'm the only one having questioning thoughts on it too.”source ↗
“Open bars are insanely expensive.”source ↗
“How about just pizza and cake? Why tf is it turning into Thanksgiving?”source ↗
“I switched to a smaller venue that is very cute aesthetically, and this venue (like many others) is insane with their pricing/business structure.”source ↗
“It should not cost me an arm and a leg to want to put your table runners that I know YOU HAVE. I'm already paying up the wazoo type of money to just have your venue and rent the facility out.”source ↗
“Oh, we have these beautiful glass charger plates, but that'll be extra charge on top of the thousands of dollars!!!”source ↗
“I’m engaged and I’d want a wedding but I don’t know if we will be able to do all the wedding expenses (if that makes sense). I feel like I’d much rather run away and get married some place beautiful instead.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 3How much wedding gift to give as a bridesmaid after spending thousands?
- 16Why are weddings so ridiculously expensive?
- 3Why is it so hard to set a realistic wedding budget?
- 9Why do routine monthly bills keep getting more expensive?
- 2Is it okay to ask wedding guests to pay for their lodging?
- 7Is a holiday weekend wedding a bad idea for guests?