How to stop an aging parent from compulsive online shopping and debt
Cognitive decline and manic episodes can drive elderly relatives to rapidly run up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt through online shopping and buy-now-pay-later services. Adult children are left financially exhausted by having to bail them out while simultaneously trying to preserve their autonomy.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
Found another way around this?
Share your steps and trade-offs so fellow engineers don't have to reinvent the wheel. No account required.
- 1Paying off their debts out of pocket by dipping into personal savingsDid this help you?
- 2Freezing their credit and switching them to a pre-loaded debit card or low-limit credit cardDid this help you?
- 3Pursuing legal avenues like financial power of attorney, guardianship, or conservatorshipDid this help you?
- 4Deleting shopping apps, changing passwords, and removing saved credit cards from online accountsDid this help you?
In their words
Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.
“Recently he's been experiencing manic episodes (caused apparently by both the early stages of cognitive decline and late onset bipolar) that lead to him spending hundreds on Amazon, online shopping, and 'Buy now Pay later'.”source ↗
“I've had to pay this off myself a couple of times because he inevitably doesn't have the money to pay off anything”source ↗
“I'm so exhausted by all this.”source ↗
“I experienced the same thing with my mom. She blew through hundreds of thousands of dollars in two years after my dad passed. I had to watch it happen then bail her out when she was broke.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 2How to deal with a family member who constantly complains about money
- 3How to say no to parents asking for money
- 5Why can't I spend money on myself even though I earn well?
- 2How to stop parents from buying unwanted life insurance
- 6Why can't I save any money despite a steady income?
- 2How do I stop spending all my money on gambling?