How to stop an aging parent from compulsive online shopping and debt
Cognitive decline and manic episodes can drive elderly relatives to rapidly run up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt through online shopping and buy-now-pay-later services. Adult children are left financially exhausted by having to bail them out while simultaneously trying to preserve their autonomy.
What people tried
Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.
- 1Paying off their debts out of pocket by dipping into personal savings
- 2Freezing their credit and switching them to a pre-loaded debit card or low-limit credit card
- 3Pursuing legal avenues like financial power of attorney, guardianship, or conservatorship
- 4Deleting shopping apps, changing passwords, and removing saved credit cards from online accounts
In their words
Unedited, most upvoted first, each linked to the thread it came from.
“Recently he's been experiencing manic episodes (caused apparently by both the early stages of cognitive decline and late onset bipolar) that lead to him spending hundreds on Amazon, online shopping, and 'Buy now Pay later'.”source ↗
“I've had to pay this off myself a couple of times because he inevitably doesn't have the money to pay off anything”source ↗
“I'm so exhausted by all this.”source ↗
“I experienced the same thing with my mom. She blew through hundreds of thousands of dollars in two years after my dad passed. I had to watch it happen then bail her out when she was broke.”source ↗
Where this came up
People with this problem also raised
- 2How to deal with a family member who constantly complains about money
- 5Why can't I spend money on myself even though I earn well?
- 2Why can't I save any money despite a steady income?
- 2How to survive a massive drop in income
- 3How to rebuild an emergency fund while supporting family and student loans
- 8Why do I avoid using my emergency fund?