How to avoid parentifying an older sibling

What people tried

Every workaround mentioned in the threads below. We haven’t tested any of them — and nobody here is claiming they worked.

1. 1
   Deliberately giving the oldest child one-on-one time with parents away from the babies
2. 2
   Treating the oldest child like a child and explicitly avoiding forcing them to babysit
3. 3
   Paying the oldest child like a regular babysitter if they voluntarily offer to help
4. 4
   Including older children in taking care of the baby so they feel involved.
5. 5
   Doing activities as a whole family to keep everyone feeling seen.
6. 6
   Having a sit-down conversation with older children to find out which traditions or activities matter most to them.
7. 7
   Relying on extended family to watch the baby so parents can still do 1-on-1 outings with the older kids.

In their words

Unedited, grouped by where they were said, most upvoted first within each place, each linked to the thread it came from.